I think I have discovered why blogging had become a chore. It isn’t the writing, which I honestly could do any and all the time, it’s all the other stuff. The editing, the stressing over whether it’s good enough, the countless moments where I struggle to place or resize images. These are all the things that keep me from transferring my stories and my thoughts to the internet and I want that to stop.
Previously, I had viewed this blog as a showcase – my best work, and really, my best life, but that stuff isn’t the stuff you remember, and that stuff isn’t the stuff that counts. It had become like a FaceBook page or an Instagram feed, where I only posted what I thought was the greatest and most ‘likeable’, but I have realised that isn’t the stuff I like to read, so why would I write it? I want my blog, from this point forward, to become like a secret(ish) history; my thoughts now, uncut, unrefined and as I think of them. I don’t want to worry about what readers may think, but I want to be able to look back and remember when I wrote something and why. I want to remember how I felt, not how I wanted to feel.
So you could call this a diary, a time machine, or even a dumping ground of ideas (previously labelled a ‘Mind Vomit’). This is me now, and this is what this blog is going to look like for a bit! What have I been up to? Well exploring Strasbourg, teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown, lacking sleep, getting sleep, mixing computers and water, learning about mathematical croissants, eating a lot, not exercising a whole lot (or really at all!), making tonnes of friends, making family, making cookies (petits gateaux) and getting super pumped for christmas!
All my love,
A Wonderer xx
A Wonderer's Heart 